Lab is a mess. I'm not given the information, the attention, or the training to be remotely effective. I feel like I'm trying to reinvent the wheel...only it's far more complex, I don't know to use the tools available, and I can't see what I'm doing. So its more like creating an invisible car using instructions written in Japanese. That's fitting, I suppose, since I just learned that the key gene--the thing my whole summer project (which they assigned to me) is based upon--isn't currently part of our lab's stock: it'll have to be ordered...from Japan. Delivery takes anywhere from 3 weeks to 3 months.
My Mom called me yesterday to tell me it was my father's birthday. I've been so disconnected that I completely forgot. I then found out that my mom bruised her ribs in a water-skiing accident and can't even get in and out of a chair without help because of the pain. The medication they put her on is starting to help, though.
My math class has about 60 students in it, and only 10 of them are Stanford students. The rest are uppity high schoolers. Oh, and after years in the sciences muddling through teachers' relatively impenetrable east-asian accents, my math teacher's thick russian accent seems like a blessing.
The final oddity: my new, heavily regimented life leaves me with exactly one hour of discretionary time (11-12pm). For a guy used to dicking around for 5+ hours a day, it's been a bit of an adjustment. I think I'm in withdrawal.
Dear Lord, what am I doing here?
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4 comments:
Dear god Will. I'm sorry to hear about that. I feel your pain about the lab - sometimes too little or unproductive work feels worse than too much/important work. I'm sorry that hasn't gotten any better. But I do like your analogy of the wheel vs the invisible car.
I hope things get better. Do you do fun stuff on weekends at least? Biking Skyview, or going into the city? Maybe you and Ani should hang out so that neither one of you says Fuck It and escapes to Mexico.
Either that or maybe you and Ani should say Fuck It and escape to Mexico. Victor and I almost went on Tuesday.
Mexico?
I can fund the trip...
let's hitchhike
Will... you and I are getting outdoors soon. My truck and I will be reunited tomorrow when I arrive back in Cali, and the fun will commence shortly after. Miss you man.
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